God revealed His plan for our future to us a few days before Christmas 2012. Saturday, December 22, 2012 to be exact. My period was late, which was nothing new for me at this point, but we talked it over and decided I should just go ahead and take a test just to see if anything by chance happened. To my complete surprise, the test came back positive...WHAT?!?! I was in such shock at seeing the positive reading that I just sat there for probably 5 minutes or so. I just could not comprehend how this could be. After all the tests and procedures and still nothing, how in the world could I truly be pregnant?? Finally, I got myself together and called Brad to come in and look at something with me. I will never forget the look on his face when he put it all together and realized the miracle that had happened. I think this is one of my most favorite moments spent with my husband. We held each other, tears streaming down our faces, and tried to take the moment in and all that this would mean for our future. After all my husband had done for me in the last year and a half, it was such a relief to know I would be providing a child for him that we had so longed for. And it was such a relief to see his beautiful smile (and dimples) on his face.
Although I was sure the test was correct, I must admit that over that weekend I took literally 4 pregnancy tests to make sure I got the same result on each. At this point I finally fully accepted that this was really going to happen. It's funny how we Christians know that God will meet our needs and desires and provide even more than we deserve, yet sometimes it just seems too hard to believe that He would be that good to us. This is where the lesson of true faith comes in. I know I prayed and prayed that God would provide us with children, but I wanted it to happen on my time and on my terms. He taught me to be faithful and patient and reminded me of the Bible verse Psalm 37:4-"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I gave the situation over to God and yet again He provided this desire I longed for. What an amazing God we serve!!
So, this was the best Christmas present I think I could ever imagine. The only bad thing was I was already starting to feel the early waves of nausea. I tried very hard to mask this at our Christmas celebrations as Brad and I agreed we should wait to share the good news with anyone until we were further along. When you have been through as much disappointment as we had, you don't want to rush and get everyone excited in case the pregnancy didn't work out for some reason. This was a constant fear of mine during the first part of my pregnancy. Yet again, the faith issue :) I think at times I felt that I didn't deserve this amazing gift. As the days and weeks went on, though, I learned to accept it as truth and that God had big plans for us as a family.
January 10,2013 was our first appointment with my OB. I was almost 8 weeks at this point. We were both giddy about seeing this baby for the first time. I remember going into the ultrasound room with sweaty palms and shaking hands. I don't think I've ever felt so nervous in my life. All kinds of questions were running through my head. What if there really isn't a baby in there?? What if they find something wrong with it?? And on, and on. I know I'm a silly female sometimes:) So up on the table I went and anxiously waited for the screen to reflect my little miracle baby, Brad supportively holding onto my hand. The sonographer looked around for a minute and got a funny look on her face. (I think I was about to squeeze Brad's hand off ). Then she asked, "Were you using any fertility treatments?" "Not this month. We decided to take November and December off." She gave a small laugh and said, "Well, you're going to have twins. There are two babies." Again, WHAT?!?!? How can that be?? This was another moment that will be permanently imprinted in my brain. We are going to have TWINS!!! The rest of the appointment with my OB was a blur. I had a hard time concentrating on what she had to tell us. All I could think about was I have two babies growing in me!! God is so good! It was a relief to know, too, that these little "beanie babies," as the sonographer called them, were completely healthy and growing normally.We left the appointment in complete shock, but with huge smiles on our faces.
We are going to have TWINS! We are going to have TWINS! :)
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